“Hallelujah!… Son of God!… JESUS!”
These were the things I remember hearing most from a very special person in my life- Carson. He was part of a club I’m in called Best Buddies and was my boyfriend’s “Best Buddy.” The club helps pair people with special needs up with college students in hopes that they’ll make a lasting friendship. Even though he wasn’t my paired buddy, my presence was requested at every event and outing and no was not an option. We spent a lot of time together and got closer and closer over the one and a half years I knew him. Then, on December 26, 2013 he passed away at the age of 25. When I learned that he was in the hospital and not doing well I started thinking back on the time we had spent together. I questioned God about why this had to happen to him and why it had to hurt so badly. Why did I have to lose him when all I wanted to do was make a difference in his life? I thought I was helping him and I didn’t understand why I was being punished for trying to do something good. Then it hit me. I wasn’t helping Carson. Carson was helping me and everyone else around him.
His little Christian light was shining and reminding all of us to be better people. God was THE ABSOLUTE most important thing in his life and he made sure that everyone knew it. When we took him to a Halloween store to look at costumes he begged for a Jesus costume because He was his favorite person. He was one of the brightest lights I have ever seen. He was always quoting bits and pieces of sermons he had heard recently and telling people how much he loved God. He wanted to marry a gospel singer (or a crimsonette) because he said that she loved Jesus and had a pretty voice.
Matthew 18:3 tells us “And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
Carson was such a unique example because he had childlike qualities with many more years of experience. He learned to love God and pursue Him in everything he did yet he was innocent like a child. He had Down syndrome and health problems and so many things that could bring him down. He was thought of as less of a person by some and called a “retard.” He had so many struggles in his life but he chose not to see them because he was so focused on seeing God.
Obviously, we should all look to Jesus as our ultimate example of Christian living. He, after all, was the only example of true perfection. However, I think something can be learned from people like Carson. If I have ever met an angel I truly believe it would be him. A lot of us, myself included, fear death and what comes afterward because it’s not possible to comprehend. Carson didn’t fear death because he knew he was finally going home to be with Jesus and he didn’t have to understand how it would happen.
I hope everyone has a Carson in their life. I hope that everyone can see someone that could be listening to the world and what it tells them they should feel about a rough situation but is instead turning to Jesus and running towards him with open arms. Someone who is passionate and excited about everything they do and everyone they meet.
Sometimes when I’m really missing him I listen to a video I have of him talking one day. He tells us about how drugs are bad and that Jesus doesn’t like drugs, that he loves Jesus, that he saw some nice train tracks, and about where my buddy’s mom works. Typical Carson conversations. Then he tells me he loves me “this much!” I can still remember him opening up his arms as wide as they would go as I tell him I love him even more than that. But the most important thing on that video is hearing him tell me “I love God. I am Christian and I’m going to Heaven one day.” I know that he is. I know he’s in Heaven right now singing with the angels and telling Jesus how much he loves Him. He’s yelling “Hallelujah!” and “Son of God!” and doesn’t have any more pain or struggles like he had here on earth.
I hope that someday people will look at me the way I do Carson. I hope that I can have the courage to tell random people how much I love God and that they should too. I hope I can make myself decrease so that God can increase. I hope I can bring positivity and happiness into every little thing like he did. I hope that I can learn to look past the negative things in my life and focus on the wonderful blessings I have. I hope that people can see Christ in me and want to know more about my wonderful savior and what He has done for me. And someday, I hope to go to Heaven and see Carson again and sing with him and the angels and praise my God forevermore.
Abbie Willingham
Comments are closed