Enough

To be enough is to be sufficient for the purpose.

Here lately I have found myself constantly desiring to be enough, but I feel as if I am always falling short. I’m always letting someone down, or I’m always doing something and then looking back 5 seconds later and thinking-Well, I could have done this and it would have been better. I think that I’m not kind enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not prepared enough, I don’t study God’s word enough, I don’t pray enough, and so forth and so forth. I hope that you do not misunderstand this as a pity party, because that is by no means what this is intended to be. I don’t feel worthless, and for the most part I feel like I am a decent person. But I imagine that I am not the only one that has these reoccurring feelings of doubt.

So, how do I change this? It’s something I have pondered for a while now, but I don’t think the answer I have finally landed on is what I expected it to be. The answer isn’t some how-to guide or a simple change that I can make in my actions, but instead it is a change in my mindset. The truth is- I will never be enough. Now let that sink in for a second. Yes, I said what I meant. I, Brittany Gooch, will never be enough. Now I know that anyone reading this is asking himself or herself what in the world am I thinking. I’m supposed to be confident in my ability, blah, blah, blah. But, bear with me for a minute. I cannot be enough because there has only been one human to ever walk this earth that God designed to be enough- to be sufficient for the purpose (notice the definition given in the beginning). That one individual was Jesus Christ, and he came to serve the purpose of being a sacrifice for our sins. I can’t be sufficient for that purpose because that spot has already been taken. But instead, I should know that God created me with His own intentions, and I am supposed to be who God intended on me being. Whether I like to admit it or not, that is a person who falls short constantly, a person who lets people down, who gets stressed out, and so forth. Because God doesn’t expect perfection, he expects effort. He created me to strive to be like His Son, not to be His Son.

With that new mindset, I have seen my prayer change from asking God to make me be enough, to asking God to help me reach my full potential, and to forgive me when I fall short. After all, that’s all He ever created me to do.